Crossroad In The Way Of Understanding People

In life you come across many crossroads. They are of many categories. They will make you think and decide about the issues. But what if the crossroads are coming in the process of the decision making itself.

I always try to find answers, rather explanations, to everything that is happening around me. It always irritates me not to have the explanations. Sometimes I even pay a very big price to obtain knowledge about something that is concerning me and consider as my gain even though in general notion it does not seem so.

So, it is of no wonder that I always try to get the explanations of any given situation or anything that is happening to me.

No matter how hard you try, you end up expecting in every sphere of life. As of now, without practice of meditation or something similar, one is bound to have lost control of your desires. So in our lifestyles, expectations are mostly inevitable. But what are the consequences?

You expect something. That means there is usually 50% of chance that you will not get that. Also, expectations are supposed to be fulfilled by a person  who is NOT you.

What if you expect something, and then it does not happen. Then a situation comes where you cannot have that something and now the people, whom you thought would fulfil your expectation when there was a chance, starts saying how they want to fulfil them and cannot do now only because the current situation does not give them any chance. When just maybe two days ago situation was such and they just ignored it.

It also may happen that there might be a chance that such situation might come again. First they make sure that the situation does not happen. Then they will say had it been that way, they could have done this and that.

All I want to say that I am now growing up. Although it is very late, but I am happy that I know tomorrow when I shall be going to bed, I will be more mature than today. I learnt many things about life in very harsh ways as I was late. So I am going to believe whatever I understand instead of what I am told. Because only your thinking process and views will remain with you till the end. Anyway, people believe whatever they want to believe. This also is my observation. So as a part of growing up, I shall also go by this rule.

But on the same note I know this also, that I will not stop believing in people. That is the last thing one should do. But what you will believe about them is choice that left to you by the Matrix.. :P
I will take the crossroads that suits me. I guess that is what everybody does.

Truth, Knowledge and Realisations

I always felt this unquenchable thirst for knowledge. About everything. I always wanted to know the truth. What exactly is going on behind the scene, everywhere, what is the impact of my words or deeds; how exactly it is affecting the world. As I grew up with a mentality like this, mostly I remain truthful to people (with a few exceptions of not telling my parents about going out with a girl or that I failed in my last geography exams). And, somehow in turn expecting the people to be truthful to me too. I always appreciated if they let me know what exactly they think of me and if some problem arises I preferred talking about it point blank.

As I became involved in this world more and more, I went through many realisations, mostly cyclic. Nevertheless, I still was eager to know what was always going on behind the scene. I always believed truly that the truth can and shall set me free, free from this vicious cycles of realisations. It always gave me the opportunity to come out of an incident and look into the matter objectively, needless to say which helped me every time even if there was no apparent problem.

But as I became somewhat more involved with the people of this world, I came to realise that it may not be always wise to dig to depth to bring out the truth. The very reason that you have to dig deeply, is also the reason of the violence once the truth comes out and somehow suddenly it did not matter anymore to anybody except yourself. To be very frank, what I have realised, people will behave in whatever way they want to behave, no matter what they told you before and in the process of knowing the truth you also come across the "falseness" of their words. Somehow it made me feel that the truth may only matter to a few people and for the rest, is whatever make them feel better.

In this process, I also came to know that I may not like the truth. But that never told upon my strong desire of making the truth come out. What did was my own action also along with others' participation after I made the truth come out from them. Though I heard this many times that it certainly is not wise to know the truth every time, I am not sure about the credibility of the words. Even when I realise that the truth may make things worse, may make me feel worse, I still have this of desire in my mind, like a splinter, to know the truth.